Sexual Performance Anxiety: What It Is And What To Do

sexual-anxietySexual Performance Anxiety is when the sexual act doesn’t come natural to you or you have some irrational fear of how to complete the act of sex with your partner.  If sex doesn’t feel like it’s natural or it makes you feel anxious in any way, you may be suffering from sexual performance anxiety.

If you are experiencing thoughts or emotions that prevent you from engaging in sexual intercourse, you are probably experiencing sexual anxiety.  It can work to cause nervousness in your mind and make you second guess yourself while you’re trying to engage in sexual activity.

If you have experienced sexual performance anxiety, then read on to find out what you can do to battle the thoughts in your head that are keeping you from a joyful sexual experience.

Feeling like you don’t measure up is a root cause of anxiety and can lead you to doubting your ability to perform at all.

Causes Of Sexual Performance Anxiety

Generally speaking, there are three main causes: fear, your self-image and your self-esteem.

Fear: If you fear or worry about something sexually, it can make you feel anxious in the bedroom.  You may fear that you don’t know what your partner likes and you end up worrying about whether or not you’re going to disappoint him/her.  If you have preconceived notions about what sex is, based on religion or popular media, then you may constantly fear that you’re not living up to your partner’s standards.

Self-Image: Thinking that some part of your body or the way you look is bad can lead you to not performing your best in the bedroom.  Whether you think you’re overweight or your breasts are too small, thinking like this can sabotage your actions in the sack.

Self-Esteem: This is basically how you view yourself and it can go a long way in building or destroying your confidence in the bedroom.  If you feel poorly about yourself, then the chances are high that you don’t feel deserving of quality sexual experiences.

What You Can Do About It

If you are battling sexual performance anxiety, then you are not alone.  The good news is that if your anxieties center on fear, self-image or self-esteem, then there is help for overcoming your issues in the bedroom.

The first step to overcoming problems in the bedroom is to realize that there is a problem that you’re facing.  Once you make this realization, you are able to accept the problem and then begin to face it.  See it for what it is and how it’s dragging your healthy life down the drain.

If you have previously had bad sexual experiences, then it is best to use them as learning experiences so that you are able to move on.  You deserve to enjoy a healthy sex life, so leave the past in the past and look to the future.

With problems in the self-image category, you might see things about your body that you wish you can change.  If you can change these things, then work toward that solution.  However, if you are with a loving partner, then this person probably already likes you for the way you are.  That is the ideal relationship, so if your partner accepts you as you are, then you should work to do the same.

With regard to problems with self-esteem, you should focus on what you like about yourself.  Forget about what others may think of you or your body and focus on the positive aspects of who you are.  Let your guilt and other inhibitions go and enjoy yourself and your partner.

If you understand why you’re having sexual anxiety, then you can begin to work on that aspect of your life to eliminate it completely.  Think back to your first sexual experience and ask yourself if it went down just like you thought it should.  Usually, when you are satisfied with how things turned out with your first sexual experience, your mind builds from that and it leads to a healthy, fulfilling sex life.  When things go wrong, that is where the anxiety usually begins and leads to even more problems down the road.

For those that don’t know how to proceed accordingly in order to complete a sex act, it can lead to a feeling of anxiety that can be overwhelming for you.  Naturally, this feeling of anxiety basically overrides any other feelings you have until you feel like you don’t know what you’re doing at all.  To battle that, practice the sex act with your partner until you get things just the way you both like them.  Not only will you rid yourself of this unnecessary anxiety, but you will both have a great deal of fun in the process.

Ask For Support

It all boils down to having confidence in yourself and what you can accomplish with your partner in the bedroom.  You may need that added push from your partner – offering support in times when you feel your level of confidence in yourself slipping away.

Talk to your partner and ask him/her for support during times when you feel anxious.  Maybe just hearing the words “you’re good enough,” “this feels great,” or “this is perfect” might work to help you overcome feelings of anxiety during sexual intercourse.

If All Else Fails, Talk To Your Doctor

If you have worked hard to try and eliminate sexual performance anxiety, you may want to try any number of aphrodisiacs.  There are foods out there that work to increase your libido so that you can enjoy sexual relations with your partner.  Try adding almonds, pomegranates, oysters and garlic to your diet in order to amp things up in the bedroom.  While these food items may work for some, they don’t work for everybody and there could be an underlying health condition at work.  If all else fails, it might be best to talk to your doctor and get a professional opinion so that you can be on your way to having fulfilling sex that you and your partner will both enjoy.